*Again, my standard disclaimer that this series is for those in loving, committed relationships that seek to honor God’s blueprint for marriage. This is NOT intended for those in abusive or unequally yoked relationships.
Welcome to the third and final installment of my series on submission. In part one we found out why we should submit to our husbands; in part two we discussed preparing our hearts for submission; today I will share tips and tricks that help me in my unending quest toward becoming a submissive, Proverbs 31 woman.
This is without doubt the most important thing you can do. If you ask, He will help you. But it won’t always be easy; God often teaches us lessons in our struggles. What should you pray for?
- Your husband! Ask God to grant him the wisdom and fortitude to lead your family along His path. Pray for the Lord to draw close to your man.
- Patience. If you’re naturally stubborn, combative and controlling (I’m all three) ask God to grant you extra reserves of patience as you strive to be the wife He wants you to be,
- Forgiveness, for those times when you fall short of expectations.
- A forgiving heart, for those times when your husband falls short of expectations.
- The Bible. Read and reread why you are striving to be a submissive wife. Familiarize yourself with Ephesians 5:21-33 and Proverbs 31:10-31. Meditate on these verses and bring them to the front of your mind in difficult situations.
- More Bible. Another simple verse that helps me is Galatians 5:22, the fruits of the spirit. I will recite this to myself when I am stressed or overwhelmed or even sing it when I’m happy. I have fond memories of singing the Fruit of the Spirit song in youth group, too funny.
- The Power of a Praying Wife by Stormie Omartian. This is an eye opening, biblically based book that demonstrates how powerful prayer can be. It shows that we wives have power to lead our relationships even though we are not ‘leading’. And that power lies in prayer.
Change Your Words
I found that demonstrating a heart of submission through words helped immensely. Some may say this is assuaging your husband’s ego; I don’t agree. Just as women feel the need to be heard and understood, men feel the need to be respected and trusted. Make sure your words communicate that trust and respect. Instead of saying things like “That won’t work” or “I told you so!” try :
- I don’t agree, but I trust you.
- I don’t think so, but I’ll follow your advice (decision, lead, etc.).
- If you think that’s the right thing to do then we’ll do it.
- It didn’t work but you made the best decision you could, chalk it up to a learning experience.
- At least we learned what to do next time.
Chances are you will see that it’s usually not the end of the world if your husband decides to switch careers, buy a used car even if you don’t agree with it. Things won’t always come out roses; your husband won’t always make the right decision, but the productive relationship you foster will be priceless. Good will come of it.