Fruitful Thursday – Self Control

Fruitful Thursdays
My husband and I have been together for about 16 years. We married 11 1/2 years ago, when our eldest was 3. I love my husband. He rocks. At least once a week I ask God what I did so right to have been handed such an amazing man. BUT…I’m gong to be completely transparent and tell you it hasn’t always been easy. There was a time when things were pretty bad, I was done, ready to walk. In fact, I had one foot out the door.

I was, and sometimes still am, what some people would call a “handful”. That loving, respectful, wise Titus 2 & Proverbs 31 woman? I wasn’t her. I was stubborn, opinionated, impulsive and fiery – and by fiery I mean foul tempered.

My husband had a foul temper too.

There were many arguments. Loud, ugly arguments. And at least one episode of me trying to run him down with my car – or at least graze him. I’m not joking and I’m not proud of it. But I am proud to say we came out the other side. We loved one another through it all, each trying to be the spouse we knew we could be – but we were both flawed, human, young, and it was hard.

I am so thankful that for as stubborn and impulsive as I was, my husband was and is equally stubborn and steadfast. He insisted on counseling and seeing things through when my impulsive mind had convinced me it was too late to work things out.

Now, on the other side, where the sun is shining, I see things differently and ask myself – Did I really think it was too late or did I think it would be too hard?

“Opportunity is missed by most people because it’s dressed in overalls and looks like work.” ~ Thomas Edison

How different things might have been had I exercised self control – which is nothing more than work and patience. How differently would my husband have reacted towards me had I used a little self control?

Are you struggling in your marriage today? Could you benefit from more self control?

*Disclaimer – This post was not written for people in abusive relationships, it is for those couples with “average” problems. If you are in an abusive relationship, seek help.

Homeschool Moms Valentine’s Giveaway! *CLOSED*

Have you heard that The 2:1 Conference, for homeschool moms active or interested in social media, is being rescheduled for April 27-29, 2012?? That gives you a full year to plan, secure sponsorship and get to know 2:1 speakers! And what better way to get to know them than to read their work?
I am excited to offer a special Valentine’s giveaway for the Homeschool mom’s heart from 2:1 Keynote speaker Heidi St. John.

The Busy Homeschool Mom’s Guide to Romance
Homeschooling offers parents the best opportunity to shepherd their children both academically and spiritually. Yes. It’s worth it. But do you ever feel as if your life is “all homeschool—all the time?”Do you ever wonder where the girl your husband married went? This book is for every mom who has collapsed into bed at the end of the day, looked into the eyes of her husband and promised “tomorrow” she’d have time for him.Trouble is, tomorrow finds her more exhausted than the day before.

If you have ever felt caught between the demands of homeschooling your children and meeting the needs of your husband, you’re not alone. Read and discover how even a busy homeschool mom can make time to nurture her marriage. It’s not as hard as you think—and more important than you may realize.


Heidi St. John has been married to her husband Jay since 1989. They have six children (the St. Johns are expecting their seventh child late in fall of 2010) and have homeschooled all the way through high school. A favorite conference speaker, Heidi approaches homeschooling with humor and grace at events all across North America.

Jay and Heidi are also the founders and executive directors of First Class Homeschool Ministries, a parachurch organization dedicated to helping churches start homeschool cooperatives. First Class has been in operation since 2000 and has over 40 locations across North America.


  • You must be at least 18 to enter
  • Open to US and Canada residents only (sorry everyone else!)
  • You must leave a contact email address or link to your blog for notification purposes
  • Each entry must be left in a SEPARATE COMMENT OR IT DOES NOT COUNT

This contest closes Thursday, February 10th at 1PM EST. One winner will be chosen. The winner will be notified via email. They will have 24 hours to respond and claim their prize. If the prize is unclaimed a new winner will be chosen. Thank you and good luck!!

  • Leave a comment (1 Entry)
  • Friend Heidi St. John on Facebook (1 Entry) – and leave a comment that you did
  • Like The 2:1 Conference on Facebook (1 Entry) – and leave a comment that you did
  • Copy, paste and tweet – then leave a comment that you did (Unlimited Entries) : I want to win The Busy #Homeschool Moms Guide To Romance by #2to1 speaker Heidi StJohn from @SomewhatCrunchy

Fruitful Thursdays : Love is a 3AM Prayer

Welcome back to Fruitful Thursdays, a series in which I explore the fruits of spirit, share my struggles in living by them and explain what they mean to me. This month is all about the first fruit of the spirit, love.

Last week I studied what the Bible has to say about love. I had an epiphany in which I realized love, all by itself, encapsulates all the fruits of the spirit. In her comment on that post, Suanna summed it up beautifully with Colossians 3:14 which says:

“And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity.”

Isn’t that perfect? Thanks Suanna! This week I was going to post on different ways I should demonstrate love in my life, but in the wee hours of Tuesday morning I had another epiphany, an experience that showed me what love really is. And my friends, love is a 3AM prayer.
My husband and I have been wrestling with making some important decisions. I won’t bore you with the details now because this is not about us, it’s about Him. But I will tell you they are of the “what’s next, what road should we take, what direction should we go as a family” variety. We don’t know what’s best, go here, go there, hurry, wait, stay…we just don’t know.
And while it would be very easy to do what we want, we’ve made the decision to seek God’s will and do what He wants us to do. The trouble is, we don’t know what He wants. We’ve prayed, and listened, but aren’t hearing and now we’re growing weary.
So this found us both awake, tossing and turning from 1AM on. We didn’t speak, we each stayed on our own sides of the bed, each lost in our own little world of thought, prayer and worry. Until finally around 3AM we both turned to face each other.
We took each others’ hands and I asked my husband to pray.
It was a beautiful moment and I feel I received my answer (I’ll share more about that on Tuesday). But what made it so beautiful was not only the connection and love I felt for and from my husband, it was beautiful because of the connection and love I felt for and from my God.
He was there, in the dark room at 3AM when I felt so alone and confused. He cared that I was confused, he cared that I was weary, he cared that I was tired of praying and asking for answers.
He was there. Who else will ALWAYS be there for you at 3AM? When there is no one else, He will be there. When there is no one to talk to, He will listen. When no one cares, He will comfort. That, my friends, is love.

“Know therefore that the LORD your God is God; he is the faithful God, keeping his covenant of love to a thousand generations of those who love him and keep his commands.” Deuteronomy 7:9